best dates of summer 2013

fall is in the air, the air is getting crisp at night and my curls are staying in place longer during the day. while autumn is my favorite of the four seasons i will definitely miss summer 2013! this summer love was in the air; it was full of family, friends, and quite a bit of romance. i have nothing but great memories to take with me from summer 2013 and let me tell you that is such a refreshing feeling...like pinch myself, omg is this really real for real real??  and guess what

it is, all of the memories are real!! being i love you all so much i wanted to share with you my favorite dates from this summer and there is still time for you to go out and do them and make your own wonderful memories

1. 

fuerza bruta

anyone who follows me knows that i have become an official 

fuerza bruta

 promoter because i have been so many times! this show is a

must

 for everyone! the performers, the music, the lights, the water...create the most awesome dance party you've ever attended hands down! i can't say too much about the show without giving it away, just note that i have been well over three times with a different group each time and every single time i left amazed!! this is the perfect let loose fun date! go just the two of you are grab a group of friends regardless who you go with the memories will last a life time. i will suggest that you grab dinner and drinks before the show and make the show your last stop because after that you will be

done!

 hurry up and get your tickets now because the shows last performance is at the end of september. **no joke they actually sent me an email with a promo code to share with my friends and family when i go. tickets are normally $79 on their website but if you go to 

broadway offers

, search fuerza bruta, and enter promo code FBFPC20  

2. 

movies under the stars

one of my favorite dates just because it's so darn cute! every summer, nyc host 

movies in the park

...so all over the city you will find screenings of some of your favorite movies. pack your blanket, some snacks, and a bottle of wine to keep you comfortable while you cuddle up with your favorite person and watch a flick under the stars in a nyc park. this is such a cute, romantic, and inexpensive date! there are only a handful of movies left so get to it. now if you really want to up the cuteness and romantic bar listen closely: download a movie that your partner loves (or wants to see) on your laptop (or ipad, whatever just make sure your battery is charged), buy a meal or cook a meal (or a combo, you know those whole chickens they sell at the supermarket but that and cut it...i consider that cooking) and pack it to go, throw a blanket, drinks, and whatever else you might need to keep you comfortable in a bag. now that your bag is packed take a stroll to a park, waterfront, roof...whatever and set up shop for your own dinner and movie under the stars. ugh i can't even deal with how precious that it hence why it is by far one of my favorite dates of the summer. 

3. fire island getaway 

one of the best parts of the summer is fun in the sun! nyc doesn't really have a ton of beaches or a ton of nice beaches and they all seem so far away so why not make a day of it? this summer i made my first trip out to fire island and it was worth the 7am wake up call. yes, this is an all day adventure so easy on the booze the night before. this date felt like a mini vacation yet we were only gone for a few days. sometimes a few hours away from the city is just what us city folks need. pack your beach bag with all of the essentials: blankets, towels, change of clothes, sunscreen, magazines, books, music, and whatever else your beach bum heart desires. i live in westchester so i had to catch the 733am train to manhattan, from there i grabbed a breakfast sandwich while i waited for the 9am lirr train to sayville long island, luckily we had family friends who lived in that town and drove us to the ferry (but if you don't there are shuttle buses that take you to the ferry), once you're at the ferry port you have your choice of 4 different areas of the island you can go to (there is a family beach, a damn near empty beach, a nude beach, and a gay beach), the ferry ride itself is so peaceful and makes it feel like a real getaway, once you are off the ferry you've made it...enjoy your day away from the city madness. we spent our day at the family beach but before we left we walked the length of the beach and experienced it

all

! we spent all day on the beach then we hoped back on the ferry and had amazing seafood in the town before jumping on the train back to nyc! when we got home we had felt like we were gone for a weekend but in actuality it was just a day away, just what the doctor ordered!

4. biking on the hudson

confession i started the summer with a solo date bike riding along the hudson but this past weekend i went on a real date with a real person doing the same thing so it still counts for this post (thank you very much). this is such a fun date not to mention the amount of calories you burn (chicks love burning off calories). if you have your own bike great, if not there are so many rental places in the city that charge by the hour or usually $30 for the day. i'm an uptown girl so i start near the george washington bridge and ride along the water, it is such a beautiful site and if you're anything like me you sing obnoxious songs at the top of your lungs and bug the shit out of people :) if not you can just enjoy the view in peace (boring! just kidding, not!) now the bike ride itself can be the date or you can bike with a purpose. for example: bike to the village and pick up ice cream, bike to the boat basin for lunch and a drink, or bike to the movie to catch a breather before heading back home (what i did on my date, well after the ice cream...don't judge me i burned calories damnit!). or if you're feeling extra adventurous and really want to explore you can make your way over the brooklyn bridge, please note that if you do go from the george washington bridge all the way over the brooklyn bridge you might want to hop on the subway to get back home (if not i promise you will be numb for a solid 2 days after that ride). this date is so "new york" and you can do this throughout the fall as well!

nothing like a flat tire mid ride to spark romance

5. a "staycation"

gentleman this one is for you, listen carefully: if you prepare the below date for your lady be prepared to be on her good side for like forever (or at least until you do the next stupid thing or the next time she is pmsing). this is one of those stories that girls read about about and go running to her boyfriend "why don't you ever do this for me" and the boyfriend replies "that shits not real life, that only happens in movies"...well sorry boys this is real story. after moving out of my apartment the one i was so madly in love with i was overwhelmed with emotion (aka a hot ass emotional train wreck). one night i met my lovely date at a restaurant i wasn't sure why he chose this one in particular

until

 he ordered our appetizer; grilled calamari, a dish i had been craving for weeks and bitching about for the same amount of time because nobody served calamari grilled.

how thoughtful.

 then, after dinner he suggested we go get a drink so he lead the way to a super chic and beautiful hotel (

hudson hotel

) that had several different themed bars (garden bar, library bar, roof bar). already, i'm in awe at the beauty of this venue as i follow him to the bar of his choice. we get off the elevator and he opens a door and to my surprise it's a hotel room with my favorite candle lit and my favorite flower on the bed with a hand written card.

how thoughtful.

 i am really bad at accepting nice things and being all sweet and emotional and romantic but i said thank you and buried my head in the pillow so i could let out the biggest cheese smile. as if that wasn't enough i opened the closest to find a dress for me to change into the next day and all the toiletries i needed in the bathroom.

how thoughtful.

 all of that just to help me unwind and put a smile on my face during a stressful time.

how thoughtful.

so that date was obviously the

most thoughtful

 date of the summer and to date. 

and there you have it my loves! my top five dates of the summer! some i planned, some he planned, some were costly, some were under $10 but all in all they were all great. i hope you can use some of the ideas from above to create your own memories! 

kisses!!

big crush, crushed


sorry!! i have been gone way too long!! i was celebrating love and marriage at the wedding of two of my closest friends with no wifi!! but it was an amazing time and i will post about that soon, i am just waiting for more pictures and for the bride and groom to get back from their honeymoon so they can answer some questions for me. 

while hanging out in the pool one evening we started talking about my blog and how they absolutely loved it because they felt like it was me speaking directly to them (well duh it's me typing it) haha no but they were saying "jacq i can hear you telling your stories through your writing". that triggered "story time" yes, my friends love story time...this is literally where we sit down and i tell a story (a true story always). this time i got a special request for a particular story, yes they have favorites and request them...i know!!! the laughter that came from this story came from deep within, i'm talking ab workout laugh session, tears flooding down the face laugh session, lose your breath laugh session. 

so because i love you all so much it's only right that i share with you, let me tell you the story about macho (who is now married with a kid).....

oh macho...he was one of my biggest crushes ever! like the crush:
* who gives you butterflies every time you see him
* the one you dream about, the one who you stay on instant messenger (hidden of course) all day waiting for him to sign on and then 2.5 minutes later you “sign on” (unhide) so he will see your name pop up on the right hand corner and message you god willingly
* the crush who you are too afraid to talk to even though you won “most talkative” every year at school
* the crush you who you “research” on facebook so when you do get the chance to speak to him you “ask all the right questions” haha
* the one whose class schedule you just so happens to include lunch the same time as you every semester 
* the crush whose roommate you become bbf's with so….ehhh no excuse here
* the crush who you’d offer to help write a paper for even though you were behind 4 of your own
* the crush whose girlfriend you would “research” just in case she was tagged in a picture of her a little too close to another guy and send it to your crush from a secret email subject: your gf is a cheater and then be there to laugh about the “loser” who sent him a picture of his girlfriend and her cousin tommy.

you know that crush…
* the crush that is such a good person that he even does community service on the weekends, what a sweetheart! I once saw him at a club
 holding hands with this girl so sweet; he must have been doing volunteer work with the blind!
* the crush who finally notices and you exchange numbers with so you can “hang sometime” so you call him one day and get his
voicemail and being the spaz you are you obviously leave one:

“you’ve reached macho, i cant get to the phone right now so leave a message and i’ll get back to you”

me: hey, it’s Jacqui I was just calling to say hi 
(i hit * key to “erase and rerecord”)  my roommate looks at me and i tell her “no, no I don’t like that one”

me: hey macho, how are you? it’s…
my roommate looks at me again and I tell her “ugh, who says how are you not like he can answer me” (i hit * key to “erase and rerecord”)

me: hey! call me when you get a chance! 
“call who you idiot? you think he’s going to recognize your voice??  idiot lol" i tell my roommate (and yes i say lol out loud)  (i hit * key to “erase and rerecord”)

me: hi macho, it’s jacqui just calling to say hi. hope you’re having a good day, give me a call when you get this. 
(i hit # key to finish message)

“if you have finished recording hit 1 to send, hit 2 to listen to your message before sending” (i hit 2)
my message: 




yup, my dumb ass was hitting the * key to “erase and rerecord” that worked for my phone carrier not his!!! whew, good thing you can erase and rerecord! oh but too bad I’m a fucking idiot and spaz attack and hung up the phone, yup i hung up the damn phone so my big time crush heard the mess from the video up there! one would think that i would leave it at that but no why would i?  i wouldn’t be me if i made the logical decision!!! so instead i pick up my phone again even though clearly I should have burned the shit and leave the following message :


really jacqueline lizzette solivan?? really?! wtf dude!
(side note: my roommate was like the girl in the horror movie who sees the axe murderer coming in to kill her friend but is so scared she can’t speak so she just stands there eyes wide open hoping that the friend can read her mind…yeah that was her)


"i didn't sleep with her"

have you ever been cheated on? i'm trying to figure out why it's so common...is it acceptable right now, like pre marriage? is it considered a "part of life"? is it the path that is taken before you find "the one"? i really don't know, i just don't get it.

i was cheated on once (which i tend to be in denial about), and it was one of the worst feelings ever. while i'm over that relationship at this point i can still feel the knot in my stomach when i think about it. i didn't yell, curse, cry, or swing when i found out...i was just numb. the betrayal! why? how? when? to this day my ex will tell me that he didn't cheat...so how is it that we have two completely different views on the same event?? "i didn't sleep with her"

see what i found out was my boyfriend was "skyping" with his "friend" (a female) and that he invited  to stay at his apartment during a trip to nyc and there were "sweetie and xo" text messages...in my eyes that is cheating:
- as the girlfriend of several years i knew all of his friends and she was not one of them
- i didn't even know homeboy had skype
- no female friend that i don't know should be called "sweetie"
- inviting a female friend that i don't know to stay in your apartment with you? ha! the only way that would go down is if it was a slumber party and i was there too...but nope i wasn't even made aware of it

many people may argue if it was cheating or not because like my ex said they didn't sleep together! but i don't give a shit! cheating to me is the act of not being loyal and that my friend is not loyal! Steph Anita says, "cheating is anything done that if your partner were to out would hurt them". Well, that hurt me so cheating it is!

i sparked the question "what's considered cheating?",  and got some pretty passionate responses from men and women both single and relationships. some answers shocked me while others were totally relatable. here's what people had to say:

 it's the thought that counts
"much like when in rehab or AA they say you dont relapse at the point in which you drink, smoke etc.. but that actual relapse (cheating in this case), occurs when you first start thinking about it. it's mental first, always..." says Vic Varanian (a married man). so is there a such thing as harmless flirting? some people will tell you flirting is healthy, others...not so much! while flirting might not be considered cheating it's fair to say most affairs stemmed from "innocent flirting". or what about giving someone else your time...if you have a friend that you know would or has the desire to be with you in a capacity more than friendship is it fair to be spending time with that person? yahira vargas considers the above cheating! why? "physical contact with someone other than your partner doesn't just fall from the sky. it normally starts with giving someone who isn't your partner time. the time and flirting will almost always lead to physical cheating!" one response i received was from maria who simply stated "anything that evolves from innocent flirting".


what they don't know can't hurt you
so let's say you "innocently flirt" with someone...are you deleting those text messages so your partner doesn't see? why delete if it's innocent? or you have a 100% platonic friend who sends you wild messages because that's just the relationship you have...do you delete those? again why? a lot of people wrote to me on the topic of deleting text messages.  fatima teos wrote, "if you find yourself deleting messages so your partner won't see, you're well on your way to cheating". while a good friend of mine who is engaged feels like deleting text is sometimes necessary to simply avoid an unnecessary issue. "just because you delete a text conversation doesn't mean you're cheating. what if you just haven't told your partner about a completely platonic male friend yet?" another friend of mine lily reyes says "you could be open but some guys/girls might not understand the way you might joke with a friend, so to avoid a possible argument just delete".  see, i just don't look at it that way. you shouldn't have to hide anything, if you're honest with your partner that should be it. friendships should be honored and respected as should your relationship.  perhaps you shouldn't be with someone who you can't be 100% honest with...just a thought. hiding and lying is just too much work and is not a piece of the healthy relationship recipe.  but on the flip side if you are deleting messages from someone because they are inappropriate and you know that they are not those that you should be receiving while in a relationship you need to address the issue with the sender and make them aware of your relationship and how that is not okay. even with that i would tell my partner, maybe i'm too honest....

we didn't have sex
the biggest debate of all "physical vs emotional"! if it's not physical is it still cheating? is an emotional affair worse than a physical? almost every single person that gave me their opinion on cheating said emotional was worse than physical and i must say i agree 4000%! obviously sleeping with someone or "hooking up" (lord knows what that even means) is disgusting and dead wrong when you are in a relationship with someone else but there is something about an emotional affair that hits harder it just seems to me that an emotional affair means more. what do i mean by that? well unfortunately meaningless sex does exist (but it still counts!) but an emotional relationship comes from the heart and takes time that you willingly put in. you can't fake an up all night phone call, or fake the smile that you can't wipe every time you're around or even see that person's name on your phone, you can't fake wanting to run to that person and tell them every detail of your day and text them every thought that runs through your mind...nope you can't fake that! that comes from the heart! that takes time! that's time that you should be spending with your partner but instead sharing and growing with someone else. you are allowing someone else into a place that is reserved solely for your partner and a place that your partner has reserved solely for you. it's a place that only has room for one...or not?
in love with two people
does that spot in your heart really only have room for one? or are humans not built to love just one person? some believe that humans weren't created to be monogamous, that is in our nature to connect, become attached and love more than one person. okay so it's not "in our blood" or in our make up but as humans we have morals and values and we have to ability to make choices. with that we have the ability to make the decision to be with one person. so let's say you're in a relationship: you've been with your partner for 5+ years, you love them, you live together, you share everything, they're the person you are going to marry one day. now you meet someone else: a super cool person who is just so awesome to talk to (at this point you're like omg i just found the coolest new buddy something completely platonic) and you start chatting daily, then it turns into all day, then you realize wow this person is really amazing and you feel connected, now let's say you finally hang out and shit you realize "wow this person is so easy to look at!" so now you're physically attracted to this person you are completely connected to on an emotional level...you now find yourself fallen for two people. is that possible? is the second person just lust, a little spice in your life because you've become so comfortable with your partner?? or are you really not in love with your partner if you were able to fall for someone else?? i believe that if you really are in love you have tunnel vision and falling for someone else isn't an option. that if you really loved someone you wouldn't and couldn't fall for someone else. but that's just me, what do i know?!
in the end it's all about respect. not everyone we meet and date will be "the one" but when you are with someone respect them. if you're with someone and you have the desire to be with someone else have enough respect for that person and call it quits, yeah they might be hurt but trust me they'll be a lot more hurt if you betray them, lie to them, and drag them on this journey where they have eyes only for you and you have your eyes, ears, and hands on them and someone else...not cool! just be honest, yes the truth tends to hurt from time to time but at the end of the day people have to respect the truth and you for telling it! if you're not ready to commit to one person then don't, that's okay! and if you're in a committed relationship and realize it's not for you or someone else sparked your interest, that's okay too it's life...but again be honest!

love respect and honesty goes a long way!