bah hum bug

that awkward moment when you're dating someone during the holidays...

i would choose being single over "dating" during the holidays any day! i said dating not being in an actual relationship in which both parties are on the same page and committed, big difference! your heart opens up a little bit during the holiday season, i don't care how much you deny happens to the best of us, even the toughest cookies are chewy (get it soft) during the holidays. there is just something so magical about the chilly weather, festive lights, christmas trees, and mariah carey's "all i want for christmas is you" that just makes you want to be in a winter wonderland of love with someone special (or not so special, just someone to go through the motions with and take cute pics with...just saying!). not to mention all your coupled friends go ghost!! 

when you're single with no love interest in sight it blows balls a little but you get over it and join forces with your other single friends and do all the cute, romantic, and cheesy holiday bs with them! go ice skating, see the tree, and talk about how happy you are that you're single and blessed to have such great girlfriends that no guy could ever add up to...until 2 bottles of wine later when you're cursing the name of the devil who has cursed you and has you as a single woman for yet another christmas! it's okay own it, we've all been there! hell i got so drunk off cheap wine one christmas while at dinner with my girls that i don't remember seeing the tree (but i have a picture in front of it, thank goodness!) and threw up all over the street the second i got off the train, it happens! look at me now!! 

and when you have a significant other well that's that you do all the cheesiness with that person. simple.

::sigh:: now on to the in between stage. the stage where come holiday time you've been: "seeing" someone, "talking" to someone, or sleeping with someone (the lack of " " was intentional) ugh it sucks!! like what do you do? you don't want to come off as desperate or like you care too much or god forbid "he'll think it's getting too serious, i'll scare him off"! so what do you do, you wait! you wait like a fool! and guess what it will probably never happen because shocker he's saying the same damn shit "no, she's gonna think things are getting too serious" (god dating is so complicated). i've always been the aggressor so i nipped these issues in the ass simply by saying "dude i want to go ice skating" (i didn't invite because i needed a guy who could take a hint, not necessarily read my mind) it worked one of two ways in my experience: a. he didn't take me or b. he didn't take me but he used my hint to take someone else and put it up on Facebook (in which case i would obviously like the picture and comment just to be a bitch)

as if that wasn't bad enough it's gift giving season, the worst!!!! like seriously what do you get someone whose last name you probably don't even know or a person who doesn't respond to your text but likes pictures on instagram?! like how do you know what to get? how much to spend? do you even get anything at all? do you have a conversation "hi, so we've been sleeping with each other twice a week for the past month (maybe three if we count the random 4am drunken phone call to meet up, which actually counts as a date because we got breakfast at a diner at 4am, so what if we were wasted it counts as a date dammit!) so are we getting each other christmas gifts?" i'm getting anxiety thinking about this for you! okay so let's think small...a card? no! you can't get a card, what the hell are you going to put in a card "thanks for sleeping with me let's try dinner soon! merry christmas! jacqueline solivan (hey it can be a good time to tell him your last name)" a money clip? those are nice and fancy! and super expensive, f that dude probably hasn't bought you anything other than drinks to get you ready for a wild night in bed! ummm a tie? i don't know! a picture frame with a picture of him and his nephew! i legit did that one year it was a hit! but i gave it to him like a week before christmas as a "just because" gift this way he had time to get me a gift haha! clever, right? wrong! he didn't get me a damn thing! 

damn this really isn't a self help blog! ha! sorry! kisses and happy holidays!!


ox jls