First Trimester Survival

Nothing in this world could have prepared me for the insane changes my body was going to undergo during the first few weeks/months of pregnancy. The thought of pregnancy always excited me; the cute baby bump, glowing skin, and the fact that life would be growing inside of me. Boy was I in for a surprise when I found myself glued to the bathroom floor from the moment I woke up until I finally passed out (literally because of dehydration). The doctors diagnosed me with hyperemesis gravidarum which basically means my body is sensitive to all the hormones and in turn I get sick AF; by sick I mean throwing up anything and everything ALL DAY (legit 10 times a day) and since I couldn't hold anything down I would get VERY weak due to the lack of nutrients. They pumped me up with nutrients, gave me some medication (Zofran), and put me on bed rest for an ENTIRE MONTH (the most torturous sentencing for Miss Independent); this episode repeated itself a few times throughout the first trimester. Also, I had NO IDEA that constipation during pregnancy was a thing...holy shit that is a killer! All the plans I had for adorable weekly photos went right out the window at week 5, mind you my pregnancy was confirmed at 4 weeks so those cute pics had a 1 week life span.

I struggled not only physically but emotionally as well. For starters, I felt completely useless; I could not do a thing around the house or for myself. Thank God blessed me with Jack as my partner; he took charge of everything without thinking twice (cleaning, cooking, working, bills, Charlie, hell he even had to bathe me),  he did all of it with such joy and pride, and constantly reminded me that my bed rest state was a much larger task than all the tasks he had..."you're growing our baby, you're Superwoman"! My biggest struggle was "mom guilt" (I didn't really know that was a thing let alone SO damn early in the game)! I felt bad that I had to take medication (you always hear pregnancy and medicine is a NO NO) and despite doctors telling me I HAD to I still felt uneasy; but I guess the doctors know a thing or two because without the medication I was back in the hospital causing harm to me and the baby. Part 2 of the "mom guilt" was the fact that a felt absolutely miserable; for a while I held in the truth when folks asked me how I was because I did not for one second want to seem that I was not beyond excited for this blessing.

All in all the first trimester (actually the first 4 months) was an absolute blur of very slow passing time but I survived (down 11 pounds) but now ready to make up for lost time for the rest of this pregnancy!